Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Six

‘How did you know silver would hurt him?’

‘I didn’t.’

‘So you lied when you said you’d been doing research?’

She shrugged, she still wasn’t looking me in the eye. ‘Everything else from the myths works doesn’t it? I figured that would too.’

‘Clever,’ I said conversationally, ‘he really seems to idolise Jarl-’

‘Shut-up,’ and this time she looked me straight in the eye. ‘I told you we would deal with what I saw later, now is later.’

‘What do you mean?’ I felt my defensive shutters going up like armour.

‘What do you think you were doing?’ She hissed at me like an angry goose, my armour making me numb to her. ‘You could’ve been killed, or worse.’

‘She would never hurt me,’ I said, ‘remember, I’ve been in the same room as her before.’

‘She’s been manipulating you all this time,’ Lisa went on shrilly, ‘maybe she controls the lock on the door and she’s been playing with you, ever thought of that?’

‘She’s not like them.’

‘Yes she is!’ Lisa yelled at me, ‘they’re all the same, there’s nothing special about you, about her, you’re just another victim.’

‘It doesn’t feel like that.’

‘It didn’t feel like that for me,’ Lisa said in a calmer voice, ‘I’m sure it didn’t feel like that for Angelica and Tony Callister and everyone else.’

‘You don’t understand.’

‘I do,’ Lisa wailed, head in hands, ‘didn’t you listen to me? I do understand, I’m trying so hard to help you.’

I turned my back on her, the logical part of my head was filled up with images of Elizabeth, and it was as if I could see myself from above, knowing Lisa might be right. The rational part of my brain was a separate being, trying to crack their way into my thoughts.

Lisa touched me softly on the shoulder. ‘We have all the information we need now,’ she said, ‘maybe it’s time for me to grieve, to let go of this whole thing.’

‘No,’ I whispered. I whispered it because my throat was numb, the thought of leaving left me cold and slightly panicked.

‘You don’t want to leave?’

‘There’s still so much we don’t know.’

‘I know what happened to Angelica,’ Lisa smiled calmly, ‘and that’s all I wanted to know, really. We let this place deal with Vampires, you heard Alex, there aren’t many of them, they’re no real threat to us.’

‘We shouldn’t leave,’ I croaked, ‘don’t you want revenge? Justice?’

‘I said if Alex ever escapes I’ll find him,’ Lisa said, stony faced, ‘but until that happens, I want nothing to do with these creatures.’

Words had left me, I merely shook my head.

‘You don’t want to go because of her,’ Lisa’s voice was cold. ‘isn’t that it?’

‘Yes.’ I said simply. ‘I can’t not see her.’

‘Do you still not understand?’ She said desperately.

‘I love her,’ I shrugged, it was pathetic I know, but it was all I had, ‘and I think she cares about me.’

‘She doesn’t,’ Lisa was looking so weak and desperate, I suppose she really did care about me, that only strengthened my resolve to be with Elizabeth. ‘I just want you to realise before it’s too late.’

‘She’s not going to hurt me.’ I knew so strongly, I was more certain than that than I was of my own name.

 ‘Very well,’ Lisa sighed, ‘you don’t leave me a choice. I’m going to tell Doctor Stewart, and I’m going to get her taken away.’

‘Tell Doctor Stewart what?’ My heart sank as the Doctor sneaked up on me. How much had he heard? I pleaded with Lisa through my eyes.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Lisa shrugged, but her eyes were also begging.

The big grin had returned to the Doctor’s face, he seemed his old self again, I wondered what had happened to calm him down. ‘Lisa,’ he smiled, ‘what you found out about Jarl’s involvement will help us greatly.’ So that’s why he was happy again, Lisa had done his dirty work, ‘would you please follow my colleagues to discuss further?’ Two bored looking men seemed to pop out of nowhere. Lisa stared at me, her eyes wide as dinner plates, I could tell she was desperate. I didn’t care, I knew what I wanted.’

‘It’s part of the deal isn’t it?’ Lisa said sarcastically.

‘I’m afraid it is,’ Doctor Stewart grinned, the sarcasm lost on him.

Lisa scowled and left with the two men. I went to leave and the Doctor clamped a hand on my shoulder to stop me, ‘walk with me won’t you?’ He said still grinning widely. Immediately I panicked, he knew everything and he was going to put an end to it. ‘Don’t look so scared, I just want a chat.’

My heart rate lowered somewhat, but I was still cautious. ‘What do you want?’

He chortled, ‘is it always about wanting something from you?’ he said through his grin, ‘walk with me.’

His hand was firmly on my back and I didn’t see a way out of it, so I let myself be led along. It was a wide corridor, distinguishable from the others by this, and only that, the white still hurt my eyes. It led off from the maid doors and seemed to run the entire length of the building. Doctor Stewart droned on white my thoughts concentrated around Elizabeth.

‘I really wanted to show you this,’ he said leading into a door. It was the conference room I had slept in the first day here, when I was nearly killed as the sun set. There were rows of desks set out facing a blank wall, and a projector above the chairs gave out glittery light. The film started up, it was a sun rising. It blasted out over the entire wall. I had to admit it was quite beautiful, and the light illuminated the whole room.

‘This is our new rehabilitation programme,’ Doctor Stewart explained. ‘We show them the beauty of the day time world, the human world, show them why they should respect humans rather than think of them as cattle.’

‘Is it working?’ I asked, slightly transfixed by the projection.

‘We’re beginning next week,’ Doctor Stewart said, also looking at the sunrise, with a rather greedy look on his face. ‘I have good feelings about it.’ He closed the door and I was momentarily dazzled. I thought about what Jarl had said, what Alex had said, that they couldn’t be controlled.

Not for the first time, I wondered if Project forty-five really knew what they were doing. Looking at beautiful sunsets was one thing, but these creatures were something else, in many ways they were stronger than us, why would they want to be like us. They were supposedly immortal, wasn’t that the ultimate goal? It hurt my head to think of it too long, but I did wonder whether Doctor Stewart had thought about it, whether it kept him awake at night.

‘Now let me show you something else you won’t have seen before,’ he pushed me by the shoulder again, his hand clamped firmly on it, there was no escape from him, I assumed he was doing this on purpose, that Lisa had told him where I was going.

There was a chapel in the building, Doctor Stewart led me into a large white room with an altar at the front. A white angel figure holding candles in outstretched arms. Benches were set up around the altar and several workers were seated on them in silent prayer.

‘I assume Lisa told you my theories on religion,’ Doctor Stewart said.

‘Fascinating,’ I said, half genuinely.

‘I know you went to the church in the town,’ Doctor Stewart went on enthusiastically, ‘so you didn’t know about the chapel here. I set it up after exploring my theories. I can monitor which workers have been spending time with certain Vampires and then follow how much time they spend here.’

I stared at him, I had never had faith, but a religious person would use his theories as proof of a God. ‘Do the Vampires fear this place?’ I asked.

‘Strangely, yes,’ The Doctor went on. He seemed to read my mind, ‘all about evolution my dear friend,’ he said, ‘I know what you’re thinking but science backs everything up, they only fear this place because it’s wired into their systems. Of course there are workers here who believe differently.’ He pointed to the people praying, ‘there are those who haven’t been affected, and they still find much comfort here.’ He looked around with a somewhat wistful look, as if religious people were beneath him.

‘I know you’ve been going through a lot,’ he was obviously trying to sound like a friendly uncle. ‘So you might want to stay here a while and think.’ He smiled sympathetically, then my heart leapt, as he turned away, looking at his pager, he was leaving me alone.

I waited until his coat had disappeared around the corner, and then I ran. I ran as if I were fleeing from something that would kill me, that would catch up with me the second I stopped. I crashed into several workers on the way, they shouted at me in French, but I kept running.

There was only that one goal, and through I ran blindly my feet took me there, my lungs burnt from the effort. Until I ran into someone who wouldn’t move out of my way, my whole left side hurt from the impact. The slight smell of something rotten hit me, I had ran into Mark.

The first thing I did was take a step back and make sure I wasn’t alone with him. He was still so skinny he looked like he would break, but it had felt like running into steel. There were two harassed looking workers standing next to him, I breathed a sigh of relief.

‘I’m sorry about the last time we met,’ the words spilled over each other as though he had to get them out as fast as he could. ‘I was in a dark place.’

I glanced at the workers next to him. ‘And now?’

He shrugged, ‘they caught me trying to escape,’ he said blank faced, ‘doesn’t mean I won’t try again.’

‘Why would you try to escape?’

‘I want to walk into the sun,’ he was still blank faced. Then he leaned in closer and the two workers flinched. ‘I know where you’re going,’ he said, ‘don’t go.’

‘I could say the same thing to you,’ I raised an eyebrow, he looked so ill, like his skin was disappearing back into his skull, sticking so tightly to the bones.

‘I killed someone I loved,’ Mark said, ‘why doesn’t anyone else recognise I should be punished.’

I stared at him, he was right of course, an eye for an eye, it was just so strange to see it his way. ‘Everyone thinks you’re different,’ I said, ‘but there have been others like you.’

‘Probably,’ Mark said. He shrugged. He was still blank faced as he was led back to his room, strangely I wished him luck, he was killing himself by starving anyway. I wondered how he knew where I was going, and that’s when I remembered, and all other thoughts crashed out of my mind.

I rushed through the familiar corridors, only thinking of her, only imagining walking through that door and touching her skin. Wild images flooded through me, her skin against mine, my hands on her. I felt her calling me like a siren, sitting there in her cage, ready.

I shoved angry workers away from me, crashed through doors, not caring, only focused on that one moment, only remembering my hand opening the door. I had never felt so much adrenaline course through me, it was terrifying and exhilarating. My heart began to sting and burn as I ran.

 Eventually I banged through the door into my viewing room, as I had come to call it. I landed in a heap on the floor in front of the glass. I could see her from there, just slightly. She was so still, with her hands against the glass, watching me so closely, lips lightly parted. In that moment, I thought I’d died, I felt my heart stop for just a moment.

Scrambling to my feet, all my tired aches melted away, looking into her soft blue eyes, it all vanished, all my memories and pain. I forgot where I was, looking at her. This room became the only thing in the universe, and her the only person within it.

Still holding her eyes on mine, I grabbed the doorknob with such force I nearly pulled the whole thing off. The door swung open with a bang on the opposite wall. I think I ran to her, I don’t remember much after the bang of the door. It’s strange when we do terrible things, we always find a way to block them out, or to make them seem less terrible in our own minds. We try to rationalise, to blame something else, someone else.

Deep down I probably do remember, but when I try and think only a few facts come to be clearly. I remember touching her, her skin like the most perfect silk. I remember I wanted so much more, my hands ran over her face, my mind delirious knowing I had finally achieved this thing I had wanted so long. I pressed my lips on hers just for a moment and she kissed me back. All those thoughts seemed confirmed with that small sweet peck on the lips.

Her lips wouldn’t open to me, and I suddenly became confused, I pushed harder and she pushed back. She didn’t want this? But she had been trying to get me here all along. Suddenly I was angry, I moved my hands to her waist, trying to get a response from her. I’ve never been an expert on women but those eyes, the way we sat watching each other, how could I have been wrong?

She was so strong, stronger than a normal girl her size ever would’ve been. That only made me angrier, only made me push harder. She toppled off the chair with a crash, actively crawling away from me. My confused and angry mind passed the next few seconds in a haze until a powerful crack stopped me. Numb, I looked down and saw the bone sticking out of my arm. Then I blacked out